When I was first diagnosed with depression at 16 I didn't once stop to think about what it meant for my future. It did not occur to me that I would still be struggling with it over 15 years later. Yet, looking back, I can't help but wonder if I hadn't fought it so much would I be in a better place today. Still, for all that's happened, I find myself in a solid relationship, with two wonderful children, three daft cats, and countless fabulous people in my life. I just wish I could see it all the time. I just wish I could shake the paranoia and self-doubt that come hand in hand with it.
I know there are millions of other people in the world with similar troubles, and indeed much worse, but part of the problem is reaching out, making yourself known, and pushing aside that doubt for just a moment to try and find someone who is understanding. So this is me putting myself out there, exposing my muddled mind to the world. I need to let myself live. And to do that I need to let go just a little bit more...
